Stain Removal Hotline

"Oh no! The wine! The red wine! The red wine on my shirt! The red wine all over my new white shirt! Oh, what shall I do? Whomever should I call? Alas, alack, woe is me!"

Don't fret, poor soul, help is just a phone call away thanks to "Dr. Laundry's Stain Hotline", a series of recorded messages that tell how to deal with holiday-related stains including gravy, cranberry sauce, coffee, chocolate, pumpkin pie, soup, eggnog, and lipstick.

Remember the great living room eggnog disaster of aught-three? Heavens be praised that we won't see a problem of that magnitude ever again, thanks to Dr. Laundry's Stain Hotline, and the good people at Clorox.

The number is 1-877-STAIN-411 (1-877-782 4641).

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